Talk:Malakai/@comment-75.64.140.53-20130211040430

Sam E. David's fucking crit: What can I say about this? What can I say about this honestly?

For starters, this has got to me the most ironed out character on here yet.There is a base story and it is as detailed as it can be without sounding too dragged out. It keeps you interested to know more throughout the whole thing. A story of a  powerful king overthrown by his own servant and his own flesh and blood?Not only that, Ghirahim has a brother now?! Wow. This does put me at ease about how Demise became king, AND ,most important, why he has the sword and why Ghirahim was a spirit for said sword. I would like to know more about this character and how you see Fi's involvement in this story of this fallen king. By the way, nice explanation of Fi and the master sword's existence.This is the story's strength. Demire? That is a nice addition as well. Your story lends more depth to the character than the game he was from.

A few points. The trivia section has a few important points that I feel should have had it's own section.It seems there is so much missing here that was actually be helpful in his backstory.I know you have more than this. I mean, just look at how much is here as is. You also mentioned this is from an alternate universe entitled Alter-verse in the beginning.What made you assimilate him? It seems like it is strong enough on its own without the sexual content, unless it actually aids in his story telling. If so, I would like to see how it does. Furthermore, the story itself could be a little more detailed. No need to limit it just to get this page up.Keep in mind of your punctuation and the way you word things. I know you want to explain a lot, but you had a few run-ons here and there.

In summary :Wonderful story, BRILLIANT design and overall setup of the page(though a few tweaks in the formatting would make this look more sleek.Sverse needs a strong character like this to stay.May this serve as an example to others in terms of story. Yes . Not all characters are as involved , but what I am saying is the way this is written could be a remarkable template.You clearly have placed a lot of effort in story telling and presentation Email me. If there is more art of this character you just have to link me to them.